The Roofer Visit

Wow.

I about pooped my pants, lemme just get that out of the way.

So thankfully I was up too early on accident because holy sh*t, the roofer showed up.  Even more amazing?  Twenty minutes early.

I open the door and there are four guys milling about, a van with several big ladders, and I'm just agog.  A roofer.  Is here.  After all the calling and calling of Jose.  After all the leaks.  After all the stress.  A roofer is here at our door.

Unreal.

He doesn't introduce himself, he kinda waves around, points at the guys, the ladders, the front of the house.  "Ok," I say.

Does he look familiar somehow?  Nooooo, couldn't possibly, I ponder.

I step inside, get my coat, step back outside.  He comes to talk to me about how they're going to go up and take a look, where's the leak.

Ya know, there's something strange about this.  Can't quite put my finger on it.

So I step into the yard, about to lead him down the gangway to give him an indication of where water is getting in when I turn around.

I put my hand out to shake his and say, "and what's your name by the way?"

"Jose."

Wait, whaaaat??  Hold on, WWhaaaaat??

I stopped dead cold in my tracks.  I'm sure I got leaves all in my mouth from my jaw being on the ground and I sputter, "Jose {last name}??"

He looks at me funny, "yes."

Honestly I about passed out.  I could not believe, after all this time, after all the phone calls, that it's Jose standing there in front of me.  My brain explodes inside my head cavity.

We're stuck in this awkward handshake and a look creeps up over his face like holy crap...aw sh*t...oh no...oh no!...now I know where I am and this is that crazy bitch who kept calling me.  He had a look of panic for half a second.

After handshake disengage, everything is weird.  I somehow start walking again.

So he stammers, "oh, in the same place, the leak, right?"  I say yes but also at the back of the building there's...

He cuts me off and says they're all going up to take a look.  Okey doke, go on up!

Whoa.  I blink repeatedly, trying to clean the brain explosion off the backs of my eyes.

At this point, Mike is now awake and all groggy and steps outside, casually sipping on a glass of water.  I tell him who the roofer is and he almost did a spit take.  "No sh*t," he says chuckling, heading back indoors.  Yes, see, there was a lot of incredulous swearing going on.

On top of everything else, we knew the flipper owed Jose money, that he tried to stiff him because he's a super swell guy so now we really can't believe it's Jose.  We expected a completely different roofer person to show up.

So I'm watching the guys set up the mighty tall extension ladder up the front of the house, watching them dash up some twenty eight feet or so like ain't no thang, waiting, waiting.

Jose comes back down.  Starts telling my why he wouldn't return before.  Something about the flipper and who's going to pay him (Jose), materials, and something or other.  He mutters something else, waves his hand, walks away.

Right.  Ok?  So what?  You said you warranty your labor for three years, I'm thinking in my liquified brain.  A warranty doesn't mean you get paid again by whoever paid you the first time (which was the flipper).

Two other guys come down and they head to the van.  Huh, looks like they're going to....oh no way.  Oh No.  Get out of town.  What the....

Fix something?!

No sh*t.  No freakin' sh*t.  Omg.  Again, with the almost pooped in pants.

Jose comes back over to me, explains that there are cracks all over the brick chimney up there (as an aside, we have an 1880's fireplace buried behind the wall in our living room.  And yes [please] it has crossed our minds a slew of times to rip open the wall, see how bad off it is, always wondering how much it would cost to restore it as we love love love having fires.  We are permanently one glass of wine away from a saw to the wall.), he bets that's where the water is coming in, he's going to tuckpoint it.  Ok, that's what you said you would do last time, in October 2013.

"Ok," I say.

"Not my job but I'll do it for you anyway.  And whoever put in the a/c?  Why is it on the roof?  There's a hole there so, not my job, but I'll seal it for you.  I'll seal around other pipes, I'll...." his voice tapers off and up the ladder he goes.

Some time passes, not sure how long as I'm still in shock, we hear motion down the ladder.  Jose comes back down and says "c'mon up" to Mike.  Mike turns a shade of pale, looks at me, panics.  Shade of pale?   He hates heights.  Panic?  He knows I'll go right up that scary, sproingy, super tall frightening ladder because I have to see.

Three quarters of the way up I think to myself, omg, ok, keep going slow, don't freak, don't freak, don't freak.  I made it though.

Jose's not real excited that I'm the one up there.  He's talking fast, pointing at things fast, showing me what they did fast, cutting me off at every turn.

Yes, all these photos are going to be horrible.  Sole gutter here, looks to be correct with the roof material.  That's Jose.  Coulda pushed him off.  Coulda been writing this from prison.  That is my finger too, yes, sorry.

He shows me back over by the gutter.  He says the window leak wasn't the roof.  Ok, I'm not sure how tons of water got in, from where then, but he says caulk around the window.  I tried to explain that the water came from within, not outside, I have photos...cuts me off, "caulk."  Ohh-k.  All right.

Over by the a/c, lots of black goo.  "I fixed it, not my job, but I put stuff...."  Gestures, waves.  Ok.

Sorry, in my mad rush to photograph everything, I hit some random filter on my phone's camera.  Doh. 

Then I about trip over this big square.  Ya know, one that looks like it might be a h.a.t.c.h.  I said to Jose, "is that a..." he lifts the lid.  No sh*t.  It's a freakin' hatch!  Blocked off from the inside!  Idiots.  Idiots, I scream in my head which is hard to do considering all the exploded brain matter from earlier.

See, over by those pipes to the left is more about where the leak is. Thing about roof leaks, they could come from anywhere, begin in a totally different spot than where they leak.  Looking at this now, I'm not seeing how it could've been the chimney....

Jose gestures at the chimney.  "I pointed it, fixed the cracks, not my job, but that's probably where the water was coming from.  Not my job, but I did it for you.  I put stuff around pipes.  I patch a few places because it... ... .....

Omg what a terrible photo.  Goo around venting pipes.

One of several patches done but no explanation given as to why.

...ok, you need a hand going down?  Let's go."

He didn't like that I was taking pictures up there.  But hey, it's my roof, he's rushing me, I want to know what he did, what's going on.  He's hastening me, I can't get all the photos I want to get.  "Let's go," he says again.

He scoots me to the ladder.  Mike is pacing below, can't even watch.

Moments later, they're all back down.  Jose swings by us, tries to explain again why he didn't come back before, a much lengthier explanation but with no new information.  Mike says it's ok, hands him four bottles of pop, smooths it all over.  Mike is in sales.  He's very good at, well, people.  Unlike me.

"Your roof, it's good for at least ten years," he says.  Ok.

It's not even two years old and it looks twelve.  If this is indeed the material Jose put on in May 2013.

As he's leaving, sure as sh*t, just like last time he was here, he points, tells Mike he remembers clear as day installing the brick on the house across the street.  Wacky "memory" this guy has.  Ahem.

Jose says to keep an eye out, if there are any more problems to call him.  "Do you have my cellular number?" he asks.  Uhhhh, duuuhhh.  Yes.  Yes I do.  "Ok, call me and I'll come back out if you have any problems."

Right.  That's what you said last time, you'd be right back out to fix everything.

Only problem for us now is that with our new spiffy insulation, it "stopped" the leaks from coming all the way indoors.  Right, I know, not good.  So we're likely not going to be able to tell if this all is fixed.  Let's hope it's fixed.  I mean, it could be a valid concept that the water was coming in from around the vicinity of the chimney, but I can't say I'm sold on it.  It wasn't just a few drips.  We had puddles on the master bath floor.

So, yet again, we shall see.

Crazy story, right?!  Omg.  I'm still in shock.  Jose.  Sheesh.  Heh.

I was the bigger person and emailed the flipper again.  A cough, thank you note.  It huuuurt to write it too but, keeping the wheels greased.....