It's a Wheelbarrow Hoist.

Rrrraaaarrrgggg, another long overdue I-meant-to-share-this-forever-ago project.  Doh.

And I swear, you guys must be like, what the hell with this nutcase?  Where does she come up with these wackadoodle-doo projects?

Well.

Part of the big clean out over at my parent's house (see?, forever ago), we were gifted my Aunt Faye and Uncle Wes's wheelbarrow.

Now, I know.  It's just a wheelbarrow.

But it's not.  It's an old one, like really old, past vintage but before legit antique, steel and wood, so it's a solid one.

🎵 Waaaaaahhhh! 🎵 I feel like I should bedazzle this photo.

Unlike the one I bought at Menards for oh I dunno twenty bucks for our patio project.  The wheel blew out, it somehow acquired a major dent then Mike decided he didn't like it.

Soooo, death to the Menards wheelbarrow.  It was left for the scrappers in the alley.

Heh, the garage door was not even halfway closed before a hawk scrapper truck swooped in as if some scrap metal bat signal had fired off.  Tellin' ya, Chicago alleys are the best.

Right so this new old wheelbarrow is uh quite large.  Very large.  And wowza, heavy.  Yeah I know, they don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Now, I dunno how many times we moved this thing around the garage trying to find a spot for it before I wearied of that nonsense.

Over here, over there.  Down, tipped up, tucked in this corner, that corner, over there, here….It was practically a silent passive-aggressive game Mike and I were playing with each other.

I dunno what's going on here.  Guess it got dumped in this spot and whoever put it there gave up.

“Babe, the thing is huge.  There’s no good spot for it.  I know it’s from your family but maybe it should g…”  Before he could get the last word out I, foot down, “No.”

No no no.  “I’ll work it out.”  Besides, I’ve always had a un-figure-out-able fondness for the thing.  It stays.

About that time, flipping through the weekly Menards ads, I came across a, I dunno what it is, canoe?, hang on, ah!, kayak hoist.*

Hahaha.

Yep, that's a kayak hoist package.  

Becky.  Dodohead.  Wheelbarrows ≠ kayaks.

Ok but c’mon….you’re seein’ my logic here, right?

Our garage is kinda sorta tight due to gangways on both sides.  If a gigundo wheelbarrow won’t fit on the floor or is constantly in the way, go up.  Right?

That’s really a stellar storage/organizing tip in general:  go vertical or overhead when space is limited.  Maximize every inch you have.

So yes of course I did my research on these lil’ hoist-y gizmos, made sure it'd hold the beast’s weight, and, most importantly, be secure, not drop it like a hot potato.

Good to go, I picked up the hoist since it was on crazy sale.

You know what I’m gonna say next…...it was a toasty day when I installed it too.  Yep, because I never learn.

I opted to put it on my side of the garage in case so that if it fell, it would damage my car and not Mike’s.  Not that damaging my car is any better, it's not, just less traumatic maybe.  For Mike.

Yep, you, joist, you are my wheelbarrow kayak hoist victim.  I also picked up an extra 2x6 or 8 or whatever it was, in case, to buttress together.

The instructions were dumb and not terribly clear unless it’s my addled brain so hardwired toward the inability to follow instruction sheets...

...Really though, it ought to be a well-paid, highly regarded specific Profession, writing clear, easy to follow, simple to comprehend, in the real-world correct order of assembly, concise directions.  Please.  Someone.  Someone get on that, mmk?

Nervous sweaty-handed the whole time, I’m drillin’ holes for lag bolts, I’m juggling tools and the instruction sheet and dropping parts, it’s a mess.

See, I'm all nervous in the service because the brackets attach under the joist.  Like hang off it.  See?  Four lag bolts hold everything.

Get the brackets on and now it’s a matter of getting the wheel-y pulley parts and lines up in the right direction without tangling everything.  Yeah.  Ok.

Very confusing, trying to figure out the correct direction.

Ok.  So it’s on.

And now it’s on to hoist the behemoth.

Lo?  Up she goes!  Sweet!  It’s holding!  Not scary at all!  (Lie)

Woot, got it!

Oh.

Uh.

Wait.

Doh.

It’s awful low.  Terribly low.  Too low.  I uh, oops, thought it would raise higher.  Wow I really...I shoulda, yeah I wanted it to be higher.  Uh oh.

That very evening Mike biffs his head on the wheelbarrow and guess what?  He hates the wheelbarrow now.  (I mean no, not really but yeah.)

“Babe…(lots of swear words)”

“Babe,” me feeling awful, “I know, I know.  I did not mean for it to be that low.”

“Babe, this isn’t gonna work.”

Next day I biff my head on it four times.  Serves me right.

We continue biffing our noggins on that heavy duty steel 'barrow for far too long until one day, one day I cracked my head on it so hard I saw stars.

I literally dropped everything, went inside for the drill and ladder, hastened back out and moved that sucker to where it should have gone the first time.

Up.  Higher.  Further into the rafters.  Far far away from heads.  Up out of the way completely.

Yesssss.  Hiiiiigher.  Where you should have gone the first time.  Yessss....

Later that day, “babe, I made you a present.”

Giddy as a schoolboy, “oh you did?!  What did you do?!”

“You didn’t see it in the garage?”

“What?  No.”  Looks around, looks arou….”ah, you moved the wheelbarrow,” he says with a slight bitter tone, disappointed he doesn’t have an actual present, yet also exuding relief while rubbing his head.

Yeessssss....

Not a headache since.

Vanishing into the garage ceiling abyss.  See ya later, alligator.

Guys, I spoke with KariAnne from Thistlewood Farms on the phone recently for a Hometalk thing and omg, she’s fantastic.  Effervescent, happy happy happy, infectious with her you can-do-anything, go-get-em spirit!  Absolutely be sure to check out what she’s up to here.

And! It’s that time of year again, the Amara Blog Awards!  Yep!  Be sure to swing on by and drop a vote for Flipping the Flip, if you’d be so kind!  It’s a one time, only enter an email address thing, one and done (unless you have multiple email addresses you’d like to use, ahem).  Please share with all your pals and encourage them to vote too!  Thanks so much!

Ok, see ya soon!

*The kayak hoists are an Amazon affiliate link. Mwah, thanks! Please see the “boring stuff” tab for more info.